Rio Carnival!!!!

After the boys had spent three days resting at Natura Hostel in rural Brazil we were ready for the carnage that carnival had in store for us........or at least we thought we were!

Arriving only a few hours before the Mayor of Rio hands over the keys of the city to the" god of chaos" (who encourages all kinds of skulduggery and baffoonery to the 10 million people that descend upon the streets of rio).  The feelings experienced were those of apprehension and excitement, similar to that of a debut Bok before a big test.

Our first afternoon was a gentle introduction to carnival as we sat at Ipanema beach sipping on a few frosties and enjoying the scenery that only Rio can deliver. That evening we had planned to meet up with a number of fellow Safas for a few drinks. We met up with the band formerly known as the Backstreet Boys (Dev Kerr, Craig King, Stu 'Rookie' Brown and Dave Schilperoodt) on this leg of their world tour and as expected things escalated! We spent the evening following around a samba bus trying our best to mimic the local smut technique and drink everything that Rio had to offer! The following morning we realized that both would be impossible, howeve,r some of the boys had developed new persona's namely; Craig " The Samba" King and Devan" Los Godos Chaos" Kerr.

The team for Carnival, excluding "The Samba" King

King of the dicks after losing a game of Fives alive!

The morning after our samba parade we had to return a lost and confused  Rookie to his friends across town, a simple task but given that it was carnival, it turned into a two hour adventure that ended at a small street bar in the heart of the Ipenema parade. Many a beer and fake tequila were consumed as we were overrun with carnival fever and eventually had built up the gees that is essential when joining the thousands of locals on the streets of Rio. The crowds that  swept us around were extremely bizarre as the men, all huge and ripped, resembled The Village People while the woman took on the more conservative look of the common crack whore! Dodgy hot dogs and various unregonisable foods on sticks where consumed in a desperate attempt to offset the constant flow of Boa Antarctica beer but to no avail as we continued to jol into the early hours of the morning.

The Village people on Ipanema Beach

Street bar on one of the beaches

Streets of Rio, a few beers deep!

Smutting at Bob Sinclair!

The days and nights that followed only grew more and more buckwild as the millions of de Janierions (or de Janereites as they are commonly known)  never missed an opportunity to celebrate the week that they had spent the entire previous year preparing for.


Other highlights of our week in Rio were:

Bob Sinclair, sick
Lapa, jolling in the rain with the locals
A couple drinks on the le Blon beach front, classy
Corcavado AKA Christ The Redeemer, very cultural indeed!  

Christo Redento Statue over Rio

The view of Sugarloaf Mountain from Corcovado

To conclude this entry carnival was an experience that cannot be described in this humble blog it is something that must be experienced in the flesh to understand the how overwhelming and immense this occasion truly is! As we left Rio for Peru there was no doubt that we were running on empty as the physical and mental demands of such an event had taken their toll.

Fishing and Iguazu Falls

A whole day was spent waiting hungover on the couches of Milhouse Avenue in BA for a bus to leave for Goya in the Corrientes Province in North East Argentina. Here we would be spending two days at a fishing lodge in the San Isidro wetland area trying to catch Dorado, South america's version of the tigerfish.

We got onto an overnight bus and arrived at around 5 in the morning at a stop on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. We got off and were greeted by the lodge owner Mario,( who we now know could possibly talk the biggest load of shit in the world).  We got to the lodge at first light and saw that this really was going to be such a beautiful place. The lodge stands alone in an area of bush surrounded by cows and horses, much to Rob's delight, with the river a mere 20m away. At breakfast we were greeted by Poocho, one of the coolest dogs alive, some type of Terrier with a long shaggy brown coat. After this we would head onto the water to see if we could entice any of these golden beasts to our lures. 

Dorado Cua Lodge at Sunrise

The San Isidro Wetland

The fishing took place on a 6 metre aluninium boat guided by a nice guy called Alfredo who had a great sense of humour although he did not understand a word of english. This sense of humour was apparent when he said we were fishing for ducks and monkeys with the three of us throwing countless lures into reeds and trees! The birdlife was unbelievable to witness in this reserve with hundreds of different species being seen as we weaved through the narrow waterways. The actual fishing was a little disappointing as water levels were very high from rain the previous week. However over the two days we managed to land around 12 of these Dorado and lost about the same number. They are a hard fighting fish with a very bony mouth, thus very hard to keep hooked as they go absolutely buckwild jumping in the air countless times.

                           

The boys with a few of their catches.......

Although the fishing was not amazing, it was really nice to get away from the city and into the country for a bit of a break. We were fed extremely well by the cook Marie Louisa as well as fed a great deal of bullshit stories from Mario who was very entertaining. Another amusing thing was the fact that Horse battled to understand Mario's english. Many comments from Rob resulted in blank looks from the Argentine, with Chunks and myself choking on our pieces of steak trying to keep a straight face!

Hearing some stories at dinner from the salty seadog Mario

On the second evening we were dropped off at Goya to catch a bus onto Posadas and then to Puerto Iguassu. We arrived at the Hostel Inn round lunch time and started making plans to head to the National Park to see one of the Seven New Natural Wonders of the World, the Iguassu Falls. At 2.3 km long it is longer than Vic Falls, and at over 80m, higher than Niagra Falls in the US.  

Perspective shot of Iguazu Falls

We arrived at the Park at round three, puzzling  not exactly sure what to expect. Eventually we were given a map and shown where to go. We caught a train to Gargante del Diablo (the Devil's Throat) and began the kilometre long walk over bridges on the Rio Parana. The smoke from the Falls was visible from the start and the rumbling noise over millions of litres tumbling down every second, grew closer with every step. Hordes of drenched tourists were retreating and we were once again not sure what to expect.

Words actually cannot describe the noise and commotion of the mass of water crashing over this gorge. It is truly unreal as the water splashes up from nearly  a hundred metres below, soaking everyone and everything!
After witnessing this we went on a walk to other parts of the falls which were as impressive.

Horse and Chunks drenched from the spray of the Falls

The next morning we crossed into Brazil at Foz do Iguazu and missioned around to organise our bus tickets that would get us to Rio, a trip that would take us a solid 24hrs! Our dear friend Rob was having none of this idea and vanished without a trace from the bus terminal. With his phone not working we were left stranded with no bus tickets or accommodation in Brazil. Horse arrived back an hour later to show us three flight tickets already booked and paid for, irrationality at its best. We then organised to stay at a place called Hostel Natura way out of town on a small farm.

Taking it easy at Hostel Natura

Horse and his new friend "Master"

The Lonely Planet book preached about its laid back vibe, hammocks by the dam and awesome caparihnas. It most certainly didn't disappoint as we lazed about in the sun, listening to reggae and sipping on these legendary Brazillian caparinhas for almost three days. We were even taught the secret to concocting Brazil's national  drink made with fresh limes, cachasa (a type of cane spirit), sugar and crushed ice, by the barman. It really was an awesome way to have a good chill out session before the ensuing chaos that Rio Carnival would produce!

Buenos Aires Football Match: Unreal Experience

" I ghope you ghave left your ghuns behind but ghave been sharpening your knives! " Was the greeting we received from an unusually tall and typically steamy looking Argentine who then proceeded to casually stroll across BAs 18 lane motor way raising his tatooed hand to slow traffic for his guests, us. This was going to be some experience!

Penerol supporters in yellow, heavily guarded by riot police

Historically the teams that were to be playing are the most successful in the Copa Libertadores (South Americas Champions league). Over the history of the tournament  Indepentiente of Argentina have won 7 times and Penarol of Uruguay 6. The rivalry was going to be fierce, so much so that the sale of booze is prohibited in a 20 block radius of the stadium and literally armies of riot police stand ready for any outbreaks. It was only then, sitting in a crammed minibus on course to Indepentiente home ground did Bielo "the retard" realize that he was donning the colours of Penarol! He was literally fearing for his life if the result went in favour of the Uruguayans.        

Some Ayobaness in Buenos Aires

We were met outside the stadium by our hosts/bodyguards, both 6ft 6 and possibly two of the meanest looking motherf#*kers currently living.They  lead us through various full body pat downs to our seats. Our seats were in the core Inde support base and on arrival we were met with many a disapproving stare from the thousands of die hard fans.  However, after numerous hand shakes and mafia style cheek kisses between our hosts and other heavies we were granted the right to sit in their stand.
We had arrived 45 minutes early but the preperations had already begun as groups of hooligans tied massive red streamers from the grandstand roof to the barbedwire fence in front and began hoisting gigantic flags. (the fact that half the supporters couldn't see a thing didn't seem to bother anyone)

Chunky and Rob soaking in the vibe

The stands cramped up as the kick off approached and as the first wistle blew the crowd burst into chants. The first half was goalless but the support was relentless and as apposed to our laid back approach to supporting not one person sat down during the entire half and an endless array of warcries continued throughout. Although there is no alcohol anywhere to be seen, the amount of illegal substance being smoked on the stands was reminiscent of a Reggae concert in Jamaica. We were amazed watching one guy sitting near us smoke three consecutive joints before halftime. Needless to say it looks like this brother was on another planet!
 

This brother was nowhere after his fourth joint

The second half was a different story altogether as the home team knocked in three unanswered goals much to the delight of the home crowd. The goal celebrations were unreal as the fans uped the intensity and hopped in tune to the drummers causing the entire grandstand to bounce like a trampoline.
Each celebration was more buckwild than the previous one! "Gees" really does take a new meaning over here in these stands with the real supporters of football.

They start them young here in BA

One of the goal celebrations! Each one more buckwild than the last

The final result 3-0 , and the crowds seemed satisfied......or so we thought. Next thing gun shots rang out and rubber bullets wistled past our ears as the riot police fired at the loco indepenentiente holligans. Apparently the boys decided  it would be appropriate to make a run for it and belt the Penarol fans.....when in B.A? 
This happened in the streets and panicking fans, especially us tourists, were bolting towards safety or any cover one could find.    


After this rather incredible experience, one none of us will ever forget, we were all absolutely buggered. Needless to say we slept very well that night after experiencing the real Argentina

Entrada de la Caballo! (The Entrance of the Horse!)

Back to Buenos Aires for round two, this time with another partner in crime, Rob Ponton, who had flown in from Joburg via Rio de Janiero. After spending a single night there he had already said there was a massive vibe there already with Carnival festivities brewing!

A mole, a retard and a horse walk into a bar in Buenos Aires sounds like a bit of a joke that Savannah would use in one of its adverts. Some also would say that it would be a recipe for disaster but alas it was very civilised with a few drinks and some dinner at a cafe. On arrival back to our hostel, Milhouse Avenue, a buckwild jol was on the go with cheap drinks and shots. The horse suddenly had a glint in his eye after seeing this. After that,  two rounds of drinks appeared in front of us miraculously. Accompanying these were Rob's standard issue digestives, a "shot" of Jagermeister. These were basically the same size as a Terrace cane and creme soda! Let's just say that we definitely went to bed straight after and most certainly weren't looking for hamburguesa (am-boor-ge-sa) at half past 4 the following morning.

With this factor incorporated, we managed to pull ourselves from bed at around one. We showed horse some of the things we had already seen but were feeling a bit too fragile to do anything that involved too much effort. We then made the irrational decision to go and watched a soccer game that had been advertised at Milhouse. This was supposed to be THE most authentic of all Argentinian experiences. It was unreal and has to have its own post to try and show the gees these people have over here for football.




Other things we got around to doing in Buenos Aires were seeing:

 

Buenos Aires University Law Building, not for ants.

Florealis Generis: iconic tribute to flora of Argentina

San Telmo's cobbled streets, plazas and antique shops

Casa Minima, smallest house in Buenos Aires. Literally a house for ants

One of the many plazas in San Telmo ro have coffee or some wine

La Boca: the colourful birthplace of Tango

Steam Cats like this are tango-ing all over La Boca

Colourful buildings of  19th Century Italian immigrants in La Boca

Rob met up with one of his friends for a drink!

Experience a Football Game

Independiente supporters going buckwild!

Proper Parilla Restaurant (Steakhouse)

"Braai" master at the famous El Disnivel Parilla 

                                     

Argentinas finest Bife de Chorizo

                                      

Rosario: Braais, Beaches and los Bitles!

Rosario is Argentina's third biggest city with a population of around 1.5 million. We had read that it had a lot of the charm of Buenos Aires but was not as fast paced and hectic. After a few intense days cruising the BA streets we thought we would give the more relaxed Rosario a go.

After we arrived at around 2, we thought we would wander around town but the streets were reminiscent of a ghost town. These Argentinians really take this siesta thing seriously! We stumbled upon some of the city's pretty awesome monuments.

Plaza de Mayo in Rosario city centre





One of the reasons for us choosing Hostel Point was because it had an awesome rooftop braai area where we wanted to test our skills at an authentic Argentinian parilla (there version of a braai).  Other than that the place was bang average with cold water, no gas and was teeming with Arab looking brothers. At one stage we thought we were caught in the middle of a sleeper cell planning a jihad on the city of Rosario. We came across a small butchery down the road that also had really good fresh produce. The problem is that the meat is cut completely different so we couldn't distinguish a rump from a rack of ribs. To make it even worse, the butcher didn't understand a word of English. Eventually we worked out an agreement through animated hand gestures. He said that we should do asado de tira (short rib) and vacio (flank). Cuts relatively unknown to us with our tendency toward boerie on the braai. This would be marinated in chimichurri which is a herb mix with chilli, oregano, garlic and pepper. It is mixed with some olive oil, kind of like a pesto, and is delicious especially with the meat. A great deal of our time was spent up on the roof with a view of the skyline drinking litres of Quilmes cristal, playing shithead and talking absolute smut. Theories discussed ranged from importing cheap Mendoza Pinot Noir into South Africa, to make millions  and how importing 500 african grey parrots in your suitcase from Congo is not the best way to make millions.

Roof top Braai area chill session

The return of the Gato Negro

The sucess of a proper Asado!

On the first evening after consuming a fair few bottles of red wine with dinner on the roof we thought we would sample Rosario's nightlife, it was a saturday after all. An Argentinian Beatles tribute band were playing that night and we thought we would go take a look. As we arrived "Los Bitles" were in full song but the crowd seemed very chilled around tables. It was only 12 o'clock and of course the South Africans had overshot the mark, locals only start jolling from about two in the morning. We were the only people in the crowd jamming, probably because we were the only people who knew what "Hard day's Night" meant. We ended having a few drinks with Juan Lennon, Pablo McCartney, Jorge Harrison and El Ringo Starr, who didn't speak much English even though all the lyrics they were singing were in the same language! A great night spent squeaking some takkie was a great way to start off our stay in Rosario.

Pablo, Jorge, Juan and Ringorezzi

Next was off to the beaches to sample one of Rasarios major attcactions. Vladamir situated on the bank of the Rio Parana was our beach of choice. The beach was akin to Midmar on a Sunday however the Northdale fisherman were replaced with Rosarian women in thongs. The experience was most entertaing as we admired some fine rump and truely inspiring poses struck by the bronzed boytjies.

Laid back lifestyle at Midmar

Definitely one for the boys!

A great trip was had by all and it came to the point where we would part our ways with Steve and Christie. They were heading on towards Cordoba and then the birthplace of kwaito superstar Mandoza for the Mendoza wine festival. We would be going back to Buenos Aires to meet up with a friend called Horse or known in Spanish as Caballo (cabaar-yoh). Blackouts are bound to happen!
P.S  Please start calling Rob Ponton this name.....