The Inca Trail

The night before the trail we had all our stuff organised and went for a meeting at our tour operator's offices. There we met our guide Ernesto and waited for the other members of our team. It turns out that we were going to spend the next four days with Bryan (B-man) and Emily, who had the combined personality of a wet alpaca blanket!

Emily and Bryan "The B Man" with us at the start.

The night before the trail we had all our stuff organised and went for a meeting at our tour operator's offices. There we met our guide Ernesto and waited for the other members of our team. It turns out that we were going to spend the next four days with Bryan (B-man) and Emily, who had the combined personality of a wet alpaca blanket!

Beginnings of the trail

The bus trip to the start of the trail at Kilometre 82 takes around 2hrs and by 9am we had crossed the raging Rio Urubamba and were on our way. The first day was spent trekking through valleys and we reached our campsite at round 5pm. Dinner was delicious with fresh made herbal teas, soup, vegetables, meat, chicken or fish. The chef, Alejandro, could produce absolute miracles in his makeshift kitchen/tent.  

Alejandros masterpiece thoroughly enjoyed by Ernesto.

One of the many valleys on the way.

For a group of four there is a ridiculous 8 porters/cooks! These tiny guys weigh around 60kilos and carry massive bags weighing half their weight. They literally fly up and down these massive mountain passes in shorts and a pair of sandals, making us look silly in our thermal fleeces and hiking boots. 

The boys blazing the trail up.

Day 2 was a tough day covering 18km and marks the highest point on the trail, Dead Woman's Pass, at 4215m. It was strenuous at times but we were kept entertained by our American counterpart, Bryan, who felt it was necessary to use a military issue camel pack rigged to counteract chemical bombardment and whose epic comments have kept us entertained for weeks since!

At the top of Dead Woman´s Pass

The trail is 49km long and consists of the steps that the Incas built over 500 years ago. This is only a small portion of the 40 000km of trail that the Incas built in their kingdom. Some of the steps are carved straight into of the rock face. There are many Inca settlements/towns throught the four days and Ernesto explained the names (that all sounded like Eros Ramazotti lyrics) like Wakamaka or Takawakamaka, their purpose and their tactical locations. He was a great source of information as well as a genuinely nice guy to chat or have a laugh with.  

Takawakamaka. Behind are the terraces where the Incas herded their guinea pigs.

At the end of the third day we were able to have some well deserved beers at our camp. The following morning we would leave at around 5am to reach Macchu Picchu two hours later. As we got to the famous Sun Gate to the lost Inca city we were greeted with the view of a massive cloud that filled the entire valley! As we descended further into the valley, the cloud cover lifted and we were treated to the sight of one of the 7 Modern Wonders of the World. It truly is an amazing place with sheer cliffs all around and the Urubamba river 400m below. It is no wonder that it was unknown to the rest of the world until 1911 when Hiram Bingham led his expedition there. 

Blackouts after reaching the end of the trail

The city of Macch Picchu

After a guided tour of the city we headed back by bus to the closest town, Aguas Calientes, then from there got on the train back to Cusco for a well earned night in a comfortable bed.

View along the way.

Lima and Cusco

After a flight at 4 30am from Rio, we arrived in Lima only to get blocked by a couple of peruvian hookers at Lan airlines for not being black! This caused a change in plans and we now had to stay in Lima for the night. We arrived at our crusty hostel to find out that although the area was as dodgy as hell it is regarded as the Ceviche capital of the world, Callao. Ceviche is a Peruvian speciality with pieces of raw fish cooked in lime juice. That afternoon, following some damn delicous ceviche we verified the prior claim and added that it could even be the ceviche capital of the universe.

Ceviche Corvina: Lima Speciality

 Another ridiculously early morning followed and soon we were on our way to the city of Cusco. Stepping out the plane in shorts and slops we quickly learned that at 3400 meters cusco was an ice block and so swiftly hustled through our kit and changed in the arrivals hall (no scam).

Plaza des Armes in Cusco

After a week of carnival, two days of airports and early mornings we were keen to chill out and recharge the batteries for the Inca Trail! Cusco couldn't have been more fitting to do just that, we spent the days strolling around town eyeing out a spot for the next lunch of alpaca steak or guinea pig, which is a delicacy in the Andean region. The evenings were spent cooking in the hostels kitchen, much to the envy of our fellow backpackers as brother bielo had black out after black out in the kitchen.

Church in Main Square

View over the city

After a week of carnival, two days of airports and early mornings we were keen to chill out and recharge the batteries for the Inca Trail! Cusco couldn't have been more fitting to do just that, we spent the days strolling around town eyeing out a spot for the next lunch of alpaca steak or guinea pig, which is a delicacy in the Andean region. The evenings were spent cooking in the hostels kitchen, much to the envy of our fellow backpackers as brother bielo had black out after black out in the kitchen.

Roasted Cuy a.k.a. Guinea Pig, Deeelicious!

When we weren't snooping around town we spent time slothing on the hostel bean bags bags, and being the scholars we are, reading various chronicals of the Inca history. Although the five days spent cruising the cobbled streets of Cusco were very chilled it was a great way to prepare our selves for our next adventure, The Inca Trail.

Cruising the streets.

Cruising around with the same team from Rio was entertaining once again with many funny situations experienced and laughs had by all. At one stage all of us were cruising the streets in our newly acquired alpaca hoodies, gloves and beanies. We couldn't have looked more gringo-like even if we tried!

The boys in the quad at Pariwana Hostel

Monster burger at Los Perros Restaurant

Rio Carnival!!!!

After the boys had spent three days resting at Natura Hostel in rural Brazil we were ready for the carnage that carnival had in store for us........or at least we thought we were!

Arriving only a few hours before the Mayor of Rio hands over the keys of the city to the" god of chaos" (who encourages all kinds of skulduggery and baffoonery to the 10 million people that descend upon the streets of rio).  The feelings experienced were those of apprehension and excitement, similar to that of a debut Bok before a big test.

Our first afternoon was a gentle introduction to carnival as we sat at Ipanema beach sipping on a few frosties and enjoying the scenery that only Rio can deliver. That evening we had planned to meet up with a number of fellow Safas for a few drinks. We met up with the band formerly known as the Backstreet Boys (Dev Kerr, Craig King, Stu 'Rookie' Brown and Dave Schilperoodt) on this leg of their world tour and as expected things escalated! We spent the evening following around a samba bus trying our best to mimic the local smut technique and drink everything that Rio had to offer! The following morning we realized that both would be impossible, howeve,r some of the boys had developed new persona's namely; Craig " The Samba" King and Devan" Los Godos Chaos" Kerr.

The team for Carnival, excluding "The Samba" King

King of the dicks after losing a game of Fives alive!

The morning after our samba parade we had to return a lost and confused  Rookie to his friends across town, a simple task but given that it was carnival, it turned into a two hour adventure that ended at a small street bar in the heart of the Ipenema parade. Many a beer and fake tequila were consumed as we were overrun with carnival fever and eventually had built up the gees that is essential when joining the thousands of locals on the streets of Rio. The crowds that  swept us around were extremely bizarre as the men, all huge and ripped, resembled The Village People while the woman took on the more conservative look of the common crack whore! Dodgy hot dogs and various unregonisable foods on sticks where consumed in a desperate attempt to offset the constant flow of Boa Antarctica beer but to no avail as we continued to jol into the early hours of the morning.

The Village people on Ipanema Beach

Street bar on one of the beaches

Streets of Rio, a few beers deep!

Smutting at Bob Sinclair!

The days and nights that followed only grew more and more buckwild as the millions of de Janierions (or de Janereites as they are commonly known)  never missed an opportunity to celebrate the week that they had spent the entire previous year preparing for.


Other highlights of our week in Rio were:

Bob Sinclair, sick
Lapa, jolling in the rain with the locals
A couple drinks on the le Blon beach front, classy
Corcavado AKA Christ The Redeemer, very cultural indeed!  

Christo Redento Statue over Rio

The view of Sugarloaf Mountain from Corcovado

To conclude this entry carnival was an experience that cannot be described in this humble blog it is something that must be experienced in the flesh to understand the how overwhelming and immense this occasion truly is! As we left Rio for Peru there was no doubt that we were running on empty as the physical and mental demands of such an event had taken their toll.

Fishing and Iguazu Falls

A whole day was spent waiting hungover on the couches of Milhouse Avenue in BA for a bus to leave for Goya in the Corrientes Province in North East Argentina. Here we would be spending two days at a fishing lodge in the San Isidro wetland area trying to catch Dorado, South america's version of the tigerfish.

We got onto an overnight bus and arrived at around 5 in the morning at a stop on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. We got off and were greeted by the lodge owner Mario,( who we now know could possibly talk the biggest load of shit in the world).  We got to the lodge at first light and saw that this really was going to be such a beautiful place. The lodge stands alone in an area of bush surrounded by cows and horses, much to Rob's delight, with the river a mere 20m away. At breakfast we were greeted by Poocho, one of the coolest dogs alive, some type of Terrier with a long shaggy brown coat. After this we would head onto the water to see if we could entice any of these golden beasts to our lures. 

Dorado Cua Lodge at Sunrise

The San Isidro Wetland

The fishing took place on a 6 metre aluninium boat guided by a nice guy called Alfredo who had a great sense of humour although he did not understand a word of english. This sense of humour was apparent when he said we were fishing for ducks and monkeys with the three of us throwing countless lures into reeds and trees! The birdlife was unbelievable to witness in this reserve with hundreds of different species being seen as we weaved through the narrow waterways. The actual fishing was a little disappointing as water levels were very high from rain the previous week. However over the two days we managed to land around 12 of these Dorado and lost about the same number. They are a hard fighting fish with a very bony mouth, thus very hard to keep hooked as they go absolutely buckwild jumping in the air countless times.

                           

The boys with a few of their catches.......

Although the fishing was not amazing, it was really nice to get away from the city and into the country for a bit of a break. We were fed extremely well by the cook Marie Louisa as well as fed a great deal of bullshit stories from Mario who was very entertaining. Another amusing thing was the fact that Horse battled to understand Mario's english. Many comments from Rob resulted in blank looks from the Argentine, with Chunks and myself choking on our pieces of steak trying to keep a straight face!

Hearing some stories at dinner from the salty seadog Mario

On the second evening we were dropped off at Goya to catch a bus onto Posadas and then to Puerto Iguassu. We arrived at the Hostel Inn round lunch time and started making plans to head to the National Park to see one of the Seven New Natural Wonders of the World, the Iguassu Falls. At 2.3 km long it is longer than Vic Falls, and at over 80m, higher than Niagra Falls in the US.  

Perspective shot of Iguazu Falls

We arrived at the Park at round three, puzzling  not exactly sure what to expect. Eventually we were given a map and shown where to go. We caught a train to Gargante del Diablo (the Devil's Throat) and began the kilometre long walk over bridges on the Rio Parana. The smoke from the Falls was visible from the start and the rumbling noise over millions of litres tumbling down every second, grew closer with every step. Hordes of drenched tourists were retreating and we were once again not sure what to expect.

Words actually cannot describe the noise and commotion of the mass of water crashing over this gorge. It is truly unreal as the water splashes up from nearly  a hundred metres below, soaking everyone and everything!
After witnessing this we went on a walk to other parts of the falls which were as impressive.

Horse and Chunks drenched from the spray of the Falls

The next morning we crossed into Brazil at Foz do Iguazu and missioned around to organise our bus tickets that would get us to Rio, a trip that would take us a solid 24hrs! Our dear friend Rob was having none of this idea and vanished without a trace from the bus terminal. With his phone not working we were left stranded with no bus tickets or accommodation in Brazil. Horse arrived back an hour later to show us three flight tickets already booked and paid for, irrationality at its best. We then organised to stay at a place called Hostel Natura way out of town on a small farm.

Taking it easy at Hostel Natura

Horse and his new friend "Master"

The Lonely Planet book preached about its laid back vibe, hammocks by the dam and awesome caparihnas. It most certainly didn't disappoint as we lazed about in the sun, listening to reggae and sipping on these legendary Brazillian caparinhas for almost three days. We were even taught the secret to concocting Brazil's national  drink made with fresh limes, cachasa (a type of cane spirit), sugar and crushed ice, by the barman. It really was an awesome way to have a good chill out session before the ensuing chaos that Rio Carnival would produce!

Buenos Aires Football Match: Unreal Experience

" I ghope you ghave left your ghuns behind but ghave been sharpening your knives! " Was the greeting we received from an unusually tall and typically steamy looking Argentine who then proceeded to casually stroll across BAs 18 lane motor way raising his tatooed hand to slow traffic for his guests, us. This was going to be some experience!

Penerol supporters in yellow, heavily guarded by riot police

Historically the teams that were to be playing are the most successful in the Copa Libertadores (South Americas Champions league). Over the history of the tournament  Indepentiente of Argentina have won 7 times and Penarol of Uruguay 6. The rivalry was going to be fierce, so much so that the sale of booze is prohibited in a 20 block radius of the stadium and literally armies of riot police stand ready for any outbreaks. It was only then, sitting in a crammed minibus on course to Indepentiente home ground did Bielo "the retard" realize that he was donning the colours of Penarol! He was literally fearing for his life if the result went in favour of the Uruguayans.        

Some Ayobaness in Buenos Aires

We were met outside the stadium by our hosts/bodyguards, both 6ft 6 and possibly two of the meanest looking motherf#*kers currently living.They  lead us through various full body pat downs to our seats. Our seats were in the core Inde support base and on arrival we were met with many a disapproving stare from the thousands of die hard fans.  However, after numerous hand shakes and mafia style cheek kisses between our hosts and other heavies we were granted the right to sit in their stand.
We had arrived 45 minutes early but the preperations had already begun as groups of hooligans tied massive red streamers from the grandstand roof to the barbedwire fence in front and began hoisting gigantic flags. (the fact that half the supporters couldn't see a thing didn't seem to bother anyone)

Chunky and Rob soaking in the vibe

The stands cramped up as the kick off approached and as the first wistle blew the crowd burst into chants. The first half was goalless but the support was relentless and as apposed to our laid back approach to supporting not one person sat down during the entire half and an endless array of warcries continued throughout. Although there is no alcohol anywhere to be seen, the amount of illegal substance being smoked on the stands was reminiscent of a Reggae concert in Jamaica. We were amazed watching one guy sitting near us smoke three consecutive joints before halftime. Needless to say it looks like this brother was on another planet!
 

This brother was nowhere after his fourth joint

The second half was a different story altogether as the home team knocked in three unanswered goals much to the delight of the home crowd. The goal celebrations were unreal as the fans uped the intensity and hopped in tune to the drummers causing the entire grandstand to bounce like a trampoline.
Each celebration was more buckwild than the previous one! "Gees" really does take a new meaning over here in these stands with the real supporters of football.

They start them young here in BA

One of the goal celebrations! Each one more buckwild than the last

The final result 3-0 , and the crowds seemed satisfied......or so we thought. Next thing gun shots rang out and rubber bullets wistled past our ears as the riot police fired at the loco indepenentiente holligans. Apparently the boys decided  it would be appropriate to make a run for it and belt the Penarol fans.....when in B.A? 
This happened in the streets and panicking fans, especially us tourists, were bolting towards safety or any cover one could find.    


After this rather incredible experience, one none of us will ever forget, we were all absolutely buggered. Needless to say we slept very well that night after experiencing the real Argentina

Entrada de la Caballo! (The Entrance of the Horse!)

Back to Buenos Aires for round two, this time with another partner in crime, Rob Ponton, who had flown in from Joburg via Rio de Janiero. After spending a single night there he had already said there was a massive vibe there already with Carnival festivities brewing!

A mole, a retard and a horse walk into a bar in Buenos Aires sounds like a bit of a joke that Savannah would use in one of its adverts. Some also would say that it would be a recipe for disaster but alas it was very civilised with a few drinks and some dinner at a cafe. On arrival back to our hostel, Milhouse Avenue, a buckwild jol was on the go with cheap drinks and shots. The horse suddenly had a glint in his eye after seeing this. After that,  two rounds of drinks appeared in front of us miraculously. Accompanying these were Rob's standard issue digestives, a "shot" of Jagermeister. These were basically the same size as a Terrace cane and creme soda! Let's just say that we definitely went to bed straight after and most certainly weren't looking for hamburguesa (am-boor-ge-sa) at half past 4 the following morning.

With this factor incorporated, we managed to pull ourselves from bed at around one. We showed horse some of the things we had already seen but were feeling a bit too fragile to do anything that involved too much effort. We then made the irrational decision to go and watched a soccer game that had been advertised at Milhouse. This was supposed to be THE most authentic of all Argentinian experiences. It was unreal and has to have its own post to try and show the gees these people have over here for football.




Other things we got around to doing in Buenos Aires were seeing:

 

Buenos Aires University Law Building, not for ants.

Florealis Generis: iconic tribute to flora of Argentina

San Telmo's cobbled streets, plazas and antique shops

Casa Minima, smallest house in Buenos Aires. Literally a house for ants

One of the many plazas in San Telmo ro have coffee or some wine

La Boca: the colourful birthplace of Tango

Steam Cats like this are tango-ing all over La Boca

Colourful buildings of  19th Century Italian immigrants in La Boca

Rob met up with one of his friends for a drink!

Experience a Football Game

Independiente supporters going buckwild!

Proper Parilla Restaurant (Steakhouse)

"Braai" master at the famous El Disnivel Parilla 

                                     

Argentinas finest Bife de Chorizo